A week ago I checked the calendar- rain.
Rain in Arizona.
Rain on Valentine's Day.
This is all registering in my slow- but there- but slow, spoonie scale.
Logically- STORM=Drop in barometric pressure+COLD(already having been pushing myself passed all warning signs for the past week)= (sheepishly looking at floor )= FLLLAAAAAAARRRRRREEEE
Don't you think the body screams it like that, too?
I'm not the only one who is stuck in the PUSH-CRASH CYCLE! But I digress-
Here are my genuine feelings when I reflect on yesterday:
I hate when the storm passes (literally), the sun comes out and its a beautiful day....and there's me; Laying in bed in pain, hit by the flu-flare. I look out the window longingly, wanting to walk. Not knowing honestly, whether the smartest decision today is to give in to my mind or body. They are so disconnected! I do not hurt because I am depressed, I feel sad at times because I cannot do what I want to do. The only cure for that is acceptance and letting go of control. So, instead today, I am going to be thankful I can type this to you all. And have two kids come home to me early with big smiles. And to know that even though Valentine's Day's plans was crashed by mommy, I am still loved. I am still loved and accepted for my limitations. But I will listen to my body because I must love myself the most in order to love others. So let's make a pack in honor of Valentine's Day:
Let's solemnly swear to:
1) Quit beating ourselves up today and for days to come when we start heading down that road.
2)Love ourselves for who we are and where we are at.
3) Put our Physical,Mental, and Spiritual health at the top of our Priority List
Let the sunshine in and it will always be a beautiful day!
